More Sparkles

I just wrote that long blog about sparkling and change and all that jazz…….
I walked by the window at work and the way the light hit the snow it looked like it was snowing Glitter. I love it when God shows me little reminders of how much he is real and loves me!

change and sparkles

so this blog may not be intelligent or insightful but its how im feeling….

Its funny how people change, sometimes its good sometimes its bad. I personally have experience both over the past year.
When I first moved back home I heard “wow you’ve changed” Where is your sparkle?” “why can’t you act like the Sarah I knew from high school?” I simply answered ” I don’t know who I am, which is why I’m trying to find myself so I’ll let you know when I get there” I lost myself at somepoint of my life in Austin……

This year I have tried searching in all the wrong places, Super Sparkley Sarah wasn’t in austin, she wasn’t at a party with her friends, and she wasn’t home alone on the couch. That Sarah has been here all along I just wasn’t looking in thr right places.

God is the one person who has been with me through out everything so why didn’t I turn to him first? (fear of change)
When people told me I lost my sparkle I didn’t unserstand. to some I said you imagined my sparkled it wasn’t there i’m just a good actress, to others whom deep down I knew they saw it at one point I would say you missed your chance I lost it.

During the weekend one of my Crazier friends said “why are you doing this? God isn’t going to let you be my friend anymore” I listened stunned on the phone.. is that what people think. that because I’ve chosen to live my life according to Gods path that I won’t be allowed to be their friend? wow I have some explaining to do….. I later told him, “hey your the one who wants my sparkle back, who wants be to be like sarah in high school… high school sarah is gone! but Super Sparkley Sarah was in church, the Word, and fellowship with other believers. You can’t be angry with me for getting my life back on track.

I sat there praying that he would understand that it wasn’t me saying i don’t want to hang out all the time or I don’t want to be around people who tempt me, it was me (sparkly sarah) saying you can do better, i can do better. and he got it I almost cried.

another person in my life hasn’t been so welcomeing to me (sparkly sarah) he didn’t know me before so its all new and different. He also didn’t grow up in a Christian home and doesn’t hold the same moral values as I do. I’m slowly trying to help him understand the change but it will take time and its a huge challenge for me to share the Word with him.

God showed me something about myself yesterday. I was reading a Christian book at work and this gyu i work with walked up and said “thats a great book” I stared at him with disbelif… in my head I was thinking “you read? you read christian books?” (i know i sounded/ looked very judgemental” i just didn’t say anything. He said I expect you to read books like that but you never expected me to huh?”
It made me think alot about how I view people!

I know it was long but thanks for reading!

great conversation….

Ever been to dinner or something and then after think wow… we just spent 2 hours in there?
I love eating with good friends. Corie and I went to dinner today and talked about God, life, and alot of love.. it was great.

so I’m reading a few (more like 5) books at the moment and I wanted to share a quote of one!

“if you don’t love somebody, it gets annoying when they tell you what to do or what to feel. When you love them you get pleasure from their pleasure, and it makes it easy to serve. I didn’t love God because I didn’t know God.” – Blue like Jazz – Donald Miller (thanks jesse)

I never thought of it that way. Think about wife’s striving to please their husbands every wish… shouldn’t we as Christians get pleasure from pleasing the Lord?
Next is just a funny quote from the book.
“The Bible is so good with chocolate. I always thought the bible was more of a salad thing, ya know, but it isn’t. Its a chocolate thing.”

D-now day dos….

What a Crazy day! (crazy like it was soooo much fun..)
During rec this year we had to create a product and make a commercial for it. We created a fruit buddy named DUDER…. he’s a pineapple. (no he’s not he’s our friend)
I realllly hope we win the contest……. these girls deserve it ( thats right we are the BOMBDIGGATAY)
Worship last night was great. mostly because we all had amazing matching bandanas….(omg we are so cute) The sermon really spoke to the girls and they took a lot from it. Worship was their favorite part. They loooooooove Jeff Johnson…… so much that we begged the band to be in our video. So we are standing there shooting the last scene and suddly I hear car doors shut. the girls freaked out cause low and behold there was the BAND and LAYNE (omg drool omg omg giggle giggle giggle laugh freakout drool) so they film their scene with us then get on the road to C-city to go antiquing (like we are so much better than old furniture)
After worship last night I broke the rules (like i wanna see your phone) and check my cell phone and I had a facebook e-mail from a friend in oklahoma. it was in refrence to my status being about worshiping with jeff. After some research I find that my long lost buddy Jesse is one of Jeff’s really good friends (omg look sarah is over there.. go go, no leave her alone…. omg you just talked to him!!!!!) its amazing how small this world is. I also found out that a few people’s friends were at falls creek when Jesse’s band The Doug Matlock Band ( like they are cute to what is it with hot worship leaders) were leading worship there.


*****bold and italic is from the girls point of view*****


So D-now started last night. For those of you who don’t know what that is its a Discipleship Now program that puts youth in homes with college age leaders for a week. (like OMG IM SO EXCITED… LOOK AT ALL THE FOOD… !)

I got the bright idea to host this year. Why not? I have a decent sized house ( like OMG your house is so neat) with the time to do it so I volunteered. Molly Haire ( my bestie) also joined in as my spouse/helper since most hosts are A) married and B) not 22.
Needless to say here I am. 8:00 in the morning blogging while molly’s drying her hair ( like wow its so blonde) The girls passed out somewhere between 3:30 or 4:00 AM. My house is now taken over by 11 of the funniest, sweetest 8th grade girls I’ve ever met. They are truly happy and excited to learn with each other this weekend (learn? like we came for the band K?)

I went to the Adult Worship service with Jeff Johnson and his piano last night. It was wonderful. I love worship. Ky Martin ( what a fun preacher) spoke about being a Christian and the Cost.

Is GOD a part of your plan or are YOU a part of his? (plans? like im only 13 you guys)
Is it a Job or a Joy?

I realized last night while he was talking that this weekend is a JOY for me. That I am delighting in the Lord using me even though its something as small as hosting..

Then we went to the Jam session with the kiddos. There is nothing I like more than to sing at the top of my lungs and not be able to hear my self…….. I love loud music. I like to hear my heart beat with the base ( like omg they are so cute…. ohhh married too) I love watching the Kids worship to. I should take a lesson from them and Worship as if I don’t have a care in the world.

Im going to learn how be be JOYOUS this weekend from my girlys ( aww your like sweet)

More to come from this crazy weekend!

*****The italize text is what our girls are thinking********

P.S Jeff Johnson’s song ruin me is amazing go find it and buy it and learn it and listen to the words and (like omg its so good its my favorite and like wow i wanna hear it again and again)

Free to be me and other random mumblings….

I had my best friend and my father figure standing together for the first time forever yesterday. We were standing in a pig pin but that didn’t matter. I looked over at them and suddenly felt happy, and lucky to have them in my life.

Its funny how God will show you simple things to show you that he is in control and that only he can make me happy!
I’m learning you can’t rush God. I can’t simply stand here and be like “ok God here is a list of the desires of my heart” ‘oh thats not on your list well its on mine…..” I’m learning to be patient. I know im changing and being prepared for something but I don’t know what!

I love this song!

`cause i got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own i’m so clumsy
But on your shoulders i can see
I’m free to be me
Thats how I feel. I’m beat up and broken and who besides God would want me right now? Then I realize that God is all that I need! but it helps that he’s blessed me with such good friends!

I’m by no means a writer!

Every person must be subject to the governing authorities, for no authority exists except by God’s permission. The existing authorities have been established by God! Romans 13:1

Just a verse to go along with today’s history.

so since I’m trying to make a change I find myself at home alone more often than I was. Not that my friends aren’t great but when I choose to or NOT to participate in certain actives it leave me home alone. Most of the time I play on facebook or myspace. Lately I’ve been reading blogs. random ones and people I know. I find myself wishing I could write like them, think like them or even be as creative with my thoughts as them. Tonight I realized that practice makes perfect. I will never be a writer, this I know, but I do enjoy getting my thoughts out!

hince this blog.

I wrote this last week but its how im feeling at the time!

Have you ever been to church and can’t even remember what the sermon was about but know that you left the service with so much more? God was at work in my life today. He drug me out of bed to show me some simple things in life that didn’t have anything to do with the topic on hand!

when I first came back I was in the college sunday school class at church, I would go spraticly but wasn’t a regular in sunday school only to show up one morning and realize that the class had separated and we had been move to the young married couples class. I was rather upset because i didn’t think being around abunch of couples was going to help my still broken heart. boy was I wrong.

In sunday school there are these three couples who are in the Word together and who are obviously with the one that God has choosen for them. Sometimes i sit back and think “wow this is what is supposted to be like”. i mean I know everyone has their problems but when im in class I look around and think thats so cool. They don’t even know how much they have helped me just by being in the same room and being an example. Growing up with a single Mother and being from a broken and divorced family I have never seen couples filled with so much love. I thank the Lord for them and what they have shown me. I’ve never sat down and had a conversation with them out side of church except when they come in the lumber yard but they have made such an impact on my life. They have made me realize what the kind of relationship/marraige im waiting on, I guess that all this heartbreak and pain that I’ve gone through in the past two years is worth it.They don’t even know which is the funny thing.

I’ve realized that im not alone in this town. God has placed people here to help me along the way and I’m just hoping that I snap out of it and start being the Woman of God that I’m meant to be, I have all the tools and the people to help me and support me but im scared. I like being comfortable. I’ve been a Christian for so long that sometimes I forget the simple things. I know what I need to do to be happy and get my life back on track.

I’m going to Celebrate and grow with God this year. If your reading this and thinking hmmm that sounds like the Sarah I know then please if you see me around give me the words of encouragement, a reminder that following Gods path may not be the easiest thing but its the best thing for me! and If your reading this thinking Sarah’s lost her mind then you don’t know me as well as you thought!