Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas…… everywhere around me.
The day after Thanksgiving I wanted nothing more that to hop in my car and drive to Snyder to get
My OUR Christmas stuff so I could decorate my I mean my aunts house. I love Christmas time so so so much!
Not this year.
I feel as if Depression has ripped my Holiday from me. I have no Joy, No Holiday Spirit, No Stockings, No tree full of homemade ornaments, and no exciting Trips to see my Dad and family. Just work and a trip to the beach with my family, which I should totally be excited about … but NOOOOO I have a black cloud over my head that robs me of any emotion but tears.
So I’m FORCING myself to try and enjoy the holiday and the REASON behind it. At work yesterday they ask why the tree wasn’t up …. The Ladies at work told the boss because we just aren’t in the mood.. but he wanted it put up anyways so I said ME! I’ll Do it! Wow I thought to myself “a glimpse of “normal”me!”
So what did I do this morning? I turned on Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, and Travis Cottrell Christmas and decorated the work Christmas Tree- with a smile! Yay Me!
I know it sounds silly but sometimes the smallest of accomplishments mean the most when “Battling”
*** Don’t worry, I won’t be like this forever. I haven’t been blogging because I don’t want to be that Negative girl or have people tell me to just pray about it. That makes it so much worse. I know that I have a Savior that can HEAL me at ANY MOMENT. But I believe that God lets you experience and battle things actually. Depression and Bi-Polar disorder are real dieses that people choose to deal with in tons of different ways. I’m getting the help and that’s more than most. . If you’d like to understand more about whats going on with me you can read about it here. My post may be down one day and way way up the next. That’s my real life***