gossip, self-esteem, and tears

sometimes I ask God ” What are you thinking allowing me to lead a group of teenage girls?

I’ve blogged before about how God has brought Courtney and I together through this 180 group. Last night we finally broke some walls down with the girls.

The week before last was rough, we talked about Gossip.
Something that we all struggle with. I just wanted them to understand how much it hurt to tear each other down and degrate your friends. I left feeling defeated, and worthless, like I wasn’t being a good leader.

Last night I went just ready to have fun with the girls and have some good conversation. Then  one walked in and came to Court and I and said………….

I’ve only Gossipped 3 times this week.

My heart smiled. I thought WOW God they listened.
I then got excited. GOD used her to remind me to take baby steps in my life.

We had a major discussion on self esteem. The girls are struggling bad with it…. actually I think all teen-agers are. Courtney and I just felt led to talk about it. I knew that I would have to get honest with myself and these girls. I couldnt act like I knew the answers because honest truth I’m right there with them in the, I feel like a loser, I don’t like ……yada yada yada stuff.
We made them write 3 things they like, dislike, and what they think people think about them. Then How they want to be preseaved. It was hearbreaking watching them struggle with the likes. A few tears ran down my face as each girl read a few outloud…. I was suddenly in Jr high again and felt some wounds I thought I had healed come open. My prayer at that point would be that what came out of Courtney and My mouth would be the LORDS and not ours(should be my prayer all the time). There was no way that WE could get through this topic.
I’m not good at scripure Memorization but all of the sudden Proverbs 31:30 came flying into my head, I read it to them and we started discussing ” the wife of a noble character”. Courtney shared an experience about  her Grandmother and family and that passage. She then Read it to them from The message.  No where in there does it say, she is tall, skinny, fat, blonde, brunett ect… it talks about matters of the heart and that is what is most important.

We didn’t make it to our bible study on self-esteem, God used our experiences in a study of His own. They are excited to start it next week as am I. I’m so thankful that God is making our last few weeks together Sweet and Impactful. Those girls are part of the reason why I want to go to Hillsong. They believe in me as much as I belive in each and everyone of them.

Proverbs 10-31- The message
 A good woman is hard to find,



and worth far more than diamonds.

Her husband trusts her without reserve,

and never has reason to regret it.

Never spiteful, she treats him generously


all her life long.

She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,

and enjoys knitting and sewing.

She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places

and brings back exotic surprises.

She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast

for her family and organizing her day.

She looks over a field and buys it,

then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.

First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,

rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.

She senses the worth of her work,

is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,

diligent in homemaking.

She’s quick to assist anyone in need,

reaches out to help the poor.

She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;

their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.

She makes her own clothing,

and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected

when he deliberates with the city fathers.

She designs gowns and sells them,

brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.

Her clothes are well-made and elegant,

and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,


and she always says it kindly.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,

and keeps them all busy and productive.

Her children respect and bless her;

her husband joins in with words of praise:

“Many women have done wonderful things,

but you’ve outclassed them all!”

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.


The woman to be admired and praised

is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

Give her everything she deserves!

Festoon her life with praises!

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