Its about 3:00 AM now and I can’t sleep. I got up for water around 2:30 and tripped over a box in the living room waking the whole house making a ruckus. I guess this is hows its going to be for awhile. I hate waking people up, its killing me not to go lay in the bathtub but I don’t want to wake anyone up again. booo thin walls and living with other people. I know thats a silly goal to have by one day I’ll be able to take a bath at 3 without feeling guilty about who I wake up, I know they wouldn’t care but I feel bad.
I’m homesick like no bodys business. I have turned into a 6 year old girl with anxiety and emotions coming from all levels for lots of people from lots of places, mostly Snyder, Sydney, and Savannah.
Tonight while Skyping with my mom I was crying and begging her to plan and save so that we could both go home for the 4th next year. All the while laughing at my self saying I needed to suck it up.
What 25 year old crys about not doing something, then I realized my 49 year old mother was upset too. Maybe its just the 4th in snyder. Since my cry fest I’ve seen 3 other posts on facebook about people doing the same thing. Snyder goes all out for the 4th. My friend Blake and I decided when we were little no matter how famous we got we would always come home from the 4th. Now here I am 25 and NOT famous crying about it. I know I could just get in the car and drive home for the day but i know it wont be the same. Not without Brandon and my mom. Those are my 4th buddies. I’ve watched the fireworks with them and Coach Porter for as long as I can remember.
Hillsong Conference started yesterday. Those guys have been on my heart like crazy, so I figured I’d watch a little backstage action when I saw JARED walk by the screen. Imagine my suprise when he texted and said he had to go by again… I got to see him TWICE. It was so funny, I half laughing half crying ran in there and told my aunt and g-ma who probably thought I was crazy but It was a nice pick me up for me! I’ve always been a firm believer that God helps me out with the little things! Now if God could just allow me to bump into another friend while in DFW in a few weeks it will be all good 🙂 WINK WINK HINT HINT GOD lol.
My little sister (who lives in Savannah, GA) had a car accident today. Thankfully she is okay but it could have been bad. I saw the picture of her car on FB, then started reading and panicked before I could finish the sentence about her being okay. Shes a lucky one! It made me think about how short life is thought, and how blessed we are. I need to get on a plane. I need to stop worrying about money and believe that God will take care of that need. Hes put them on my heart for awhile now and I can’t seem to find the time or the money to go visit. Ive always felt like a crappy sister/friend/daughter/granddaughter because I just can’t go see them whenever I please.