Insert Awesome title here….

Sometimes I wish I had someone to be real with (besides my mom): To be completely and utterly honest with and not have to sugarcoat things. To say I got so upset today instead of putting more gas in my car I ate 20 nuggets and a double cheeseburger and broke my 2 day no Cokes stretch, I also bit off all the nails I’ve been working so hard to grow. I kinda wanted to have a total Brittany Spears meltdown and shave my head and beat cars with an umbrella.   
In fact I wish everyone were like this. Transparent, open, and broken. 
I have wonderful friends in which I can call at any hour of the night but there is something about today that was different.
I wanted to punch the lady interviewing me for saying I needed to fix my face, wear makeup and have something done with my hair before working there today. Not gonna lie. It hurt. A bunch.
I fixed my hair, had on my best outfit, mascara, my sparkly powder (abby tells me this went out of style a few years ago)  earrings ( like my mother taught me) and NAILED my interview. They wanted to hire me and I wanted to work there until that comment.  Part of me says okay, go ahead and give me a makeover so I will be your rockstar “salon coordinator.” The other part of me is still that “linebacker ballerina” funny fat girl who will just cry about it and use my skills elsewhere.
I’m tired of acting like I have it together. I’m even more tired of making Goals and Promises to myself or others that I’m not ever going to live up to.
Maybe I’ll make the Goal of more Jesus and let everything else fall into place.
Stopping cokes and loosing more weight isn’t going to get me out of debt or land me a second job.  Losing 100 lbs isn’t going to make prince charming come any faster.  Working and never making time to enjoy life won’t help much either. I need to stop making plans and junk and just seek more Jesus. More worship. More life!!! More JOY!!!!!!
Psalm 4:7
You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound
Psalm 16:9
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure
Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Psalm 63:7
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully

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