My love feels like home

Ive been watching way too many Hallmark and Lifetime movies this holiday season. Its made me reflect on my own love story.
I could tell you all about the online dating, the nerves, me walking to a Red Robin because my car broke down and my phone was dead. Our first kiss on my birthday and the heartbreaking news that not only did I lose my passport; it was expired leaving me to spend Christmas alone. How Steven invited me to spend Christmas with his family, and ended up at the beach. It was Christmas Day, standing on a sand dune looking out at the water that, I realized I loved him. He felt like home. Its been two years since that time and he still feels like home.
Instead Ill tell you a different part of our love story; The part that isnt all merry and bright like a Christmas movie.
Last year the holidays were full of excitement about seeing both sides of my family and getting to introduce them to the man that makes me smile. The nerves and heartbreak of my upcoming hysterectomy were somewhat masked by the excitement of it all. Unfortunately my mind is kind of a jerk and doesnt always listen to my heart. It was full of anxiety and the fear that he would leave once the surgery was done. I felt as if I wasnt going to be woman enough anymore. He didnt leave.
It was after surgery that threw us both for a loop (actually its been more like a crazy roller coaster coming off the tracks). I never got better. We were introduced to the world of Chronic Illness. He held my hand and fought for me while searching for answers. Being undiagnosed for so many months was awful. As it became clearer that my chronic pain wasnt leaving anytime soon, I once again let my mind worry about him not loving me anymore.
I could not have been more wrong. He has held my hand through what seems like hundreds of blood tests and sat hours in waiting rooms. Supporting me while I try dozens of new medications and having to suffer the side effects right along with me. Never complaining about the times I cant get out of bed to make him dinner or having to make sure we have clean clothes. He takes care of me days when I cant care for myself. He has washed and brushed my hair, pulled me out of the bathtub, and some days changed my clothes. He sits in the floor with me while I cry and scream about wanting to feel normal again.
Recently my health insurance switched and suddenly everything health wise was no longer being blamed on “Just fibromyalgia and mono.” We have been thrown back onto the roller coaster and its even scarier this time around.
This Holiday season my heart and mind know that it will be okay, because he is by my side and loves me despite the person Ive become since getting sick.
I doubt our story will ever be made into a Hallmark movie and thats okay. I feel I have a different type of Love, one  that heals, and comforts, and feels like home.

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