Surviving Single- Jon Acuff

I love Stuff Christians Like!

Jon Acuff wrote a post about surviving church as a single. I thought it was so funny I decided to reply to some of my favorites!

People are constantly volunteering you for things because “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.
My free time is spent trying to afford life and food.

When people introduce you, they say, “This is Matt, my single friend.
This is Sarah my fat, single friend.

You’ve secretly always wanted your own cat but are afraid that ownership of a single kitten will become some sort of gateway drug to becoming “the cat lady.
Thank heavens I’m allergic to cats.

Your married friends tip toe around you during February because they think you’re too delicate to handle the completely made up holiday, Valentine’s Day.
I said last week, I can’t wait until v-day candy goes on sale… whooo

Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that, until you get married too, you can’t be close again. Because you just don’t understand each other anymore.
Not quite has happened yet but I get it.

Upon hearing that you went on two dates, your married friends at church start telling you, “I’ll be praying that this is the one!”
or when you post a picture on fb of you and a friend then your inbox is full of questions.

You set your alarm to “not going to church today” after the first week of the marriage sermon series.
True dat

The only time your married friends invite you over is when they need a babysitter.
I can’t wait for this to happen!

You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding.
I’m  a giant but never seem to catch it.

“Why aren’t you married? But you’re so pretty!”
I simply answer “I’m also fat”

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