When I was younger I couldn’t wait to be in youth. I wanted to sing on praise team in the FLC, but when that time came I was told I wasn’t good enough. The end. I never ask to sing in church again.
about a year ago God started some major work on me. One of the things he worked on was me using my gift that He gave me to Glorify him. so I slowly started singing again…
well yesterday I faced one of my greatest fears…
It seems petty to some poeple that I would be nervous to sing across the street for the youth but not for big church, or even across the street at the methodest church with a bunch of people I don’t know.
That bulding was assosaited with some of my deepest scars so for me to sing over there was terrifying.
Sat night while waiting to practice I got down on my knees and just let go of all of my fears, I didn’t feel anything really so I was like oh well, im hungry. We left to go eat then got back and set up ect… all the while me feeling uneasy and on the verge of running from the building, i knew I had given it to God but thats not an instant easy button.
We sang a few songs, then we got to one of my new favorites. I shut my eyes and let go . I realize then that I had just reached deep down past all of the crud and pulled out that little girl who wanted to sing oever there…… after doing so jordan and ben were just like ” welp I think you should do that alone” it jus tfelt so good.
Ben later told me if I sang like a pansy him and courtney would come after me… granted I kinda sang like a pansy on sunday morning but it didn’t matter anymore.
My joy carried over to big church were I kept wanting to dance… Its so hard to keep it inside once you when through the trouble of letting it out!
with all that rambling being said, I don’t know if I will do it again.
With Gods help I reached into my heart and let out the voice that I never believed I had…