Weight loss…. again?

I need to loose weight.
Not for anyone else but for me.
Because well I guess its just time.
Time to stop joking about it and actually make a difference.
 At my new job this week one of the size XS managers said ” hey you look like you can lift this stuff” then proceeded to make me move some heavy junk around. I honestly didn’t mind it because I am strong but its the way she looked at me. Its the way people laugh and make a face when I say I work at a doughnut shop and they laugh… FYI people Ive only eaten 2 doughnuts ( kolahces are a different story though ).
I grew up thinking that God made me just the way I am. That He had someone out there that would love me despite my height and weight…. I guess maybe I’m starting to second guess that.  I tease that I’m a tiny ballerina trapped in a big girls body but I could always do everything that the skinnier girls did… it wasn’t until recently did I begin to notice just how much bigger I really am. Maybe because society is just dumb or the people I work with are just jerks… or the fact that everyone around me is getting married and I just feel like the funny fat friend out in left field. I let people get in my head… I let silly ideas like “oh I’m not a bridesmaid because I won’t look good in the dresses”  get me way way down and it totally shouldn’t.
Anyways I guess I’m putting this out in cyber space for some accountability, and hopfully so that yall can help me stay on track and be positive 🙂


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