If your reading this and you don’t know me, it means I grew a pair and actually posted this somewhere public. Instead of my own personal fb aka the hustle page.
I signed up to do Jon Acuff’s 30 days of hustle. Mostly because I did his start challenge and royally failed, and now God has given me no choice but to get my life in order health wise. So why now actually participate in his thing.
So my Hustle Goal for the next 30 Days is ” To be more responsible with my health, fiances, and relationships.
Day 2’s challenge was to think about a WHY. WHY is this my goal?
My weight is obvious. I must lose weight for my heart, high blood pressure, kidneys, eyes (I’m learning to rock the glasses) and ovaries. I no longer have any other choice. Well besides stroke or heart attack. As weird as it may sound, the thought of not dying from a fat man disease isn’t what keeps me from eating pizza at the moment. Its not the thought of having someone fall in love with me, its not finding Mr right and living happily ever after. Its not my dreams of wearing a nice swim suit next time I’m in Australia either. Its Babies. I want to have children if that’s a possibility, adopt or even be a foster parent with kids only in my life for the time.
Why do I want to get my health in order? Babies. Or the possibilities of babies. That’s the end goal, a family. A healthy family.
( I know that most likely a husband will come before this, which may be a pretty rad reward but for the first time in my life im not trying to loose weight for a man…… and that feels really good) (( I also am well aware that I may never get married or fall in love again. That doesn’t mean I can’t foster 😉 ))
Mental health is another huge why. I’m currently off all anxiety and Anti-Depressants. Its a scary feeling knowing that at any moment I could just freak out. I hardly got out of bed this weekend and spent the majority of it trying to force myself to get out of bed. This morning at work I threw my phone clear across the room in front of everyone in a fit of rage, which wasn’t the wisest but thankfully its been okay for the most part. I can slowly feel my self isolating again but maybe that’s what I need right now. To be alone. I’m just letting God handle it. I usually roll my eyes when people use that term, I gave it to God, but I did. Now I’m just taking it one day at a time, sometimes minutes at a time. It is also shocking to feel again. The good and the bad, I’m feeling it. I cried at a movie, and laughed out loud at a book. Its interesting how sometimes to shut down the bad, the medicines strip away the good.
Finances- I blow all my money on food. It’s very simple. Food is my friend and food costs money.