I’m so mad at myself right now!
I have felt awful for the past week and didn’t think that eating whatever this weekend and a few sweet teas would effect me this much. I’ve had a horrendous headache for the past two days ,yes mom I’ve taken medicine, and nothing seems to work. Tonight after a bubble bath I looked over and saw my blood pressure machine.
I stopped taking my medicine a few months ago, I wasn’t having problems so I stopped taking it. Yes I know thats how medicine works and that I wasn’t having the problems because the medicine was doing its job. Most likely my incredibly high salt intake and not caring about my weight journey may have something to do with it…
I’ve hated medicine my whole life. I just don’t want to be one of those people who can’t live without it, yet I also don’t want to be miserable. I guess I shall get my butt back in gear and start it again. I mean its a water pill its not like its half crack, though I feel so bad right now it would help.
I want/ed to be on the Biggest Loser. Like BAD especially if it was biggest loser couples- yall know watching my mom and I cry and fight to the death would be good tv. Yall know that!. This week when mentioned it on FB I was surprised at the negative comments, I felt like I was getting hardly any support ( 3 people said DO IT.), when in fact that’s what people were trying to do, support me and let me know when I wasn’t making wise decisions I guess. Maybe my brain was on skinny skinny skinny skinny, $250,000, health, adventure, excitement and a shot at happiness. Instead of bills bills bills, my job, my car, the dogs, my future, tabloids, my past, my family, ect….My aunt ask me last night if I would be willing to give up my new job( which I love) to be on the show. I said yes, I would give up everything and would have too if I got on.
I guess its alot to think about and with so many people against it Ill just put that dream on the back burner where it belongs. Maybe later when I’m more stable I’ll get that one back out.
Until then its back on the health kick and BP medicine I go, maybe one day I’ll even get some to help my moods, until then I’ll just whine and complain on my blog 😉