Some days are harder than others to pretend I’m doing okay without the boys.
Yesterday for example was good. Despite my horrible migraine, then the Curing of the migraine with a bagel, which is carbs which I have done relatively good at scaling back on.
I went to a new bible study, even got to joke around and really felt like Sarah again.
I have this calandra of days where I feel like myself and I was just so expectant for today.
Funny how satan knew that. Cause today is winning.
In the middle of my an argument with my employer I get a text from a Sweet friend who had pictures of them from a night she kept them. And I lost it.
Full on just went to my car and wailed at God for some peace and understanding. I’m beyond the point of asking Him why or even for them back. I just want some Philippians 4:7 peace (And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.) I want to be able to function and not miss them every day, or hour, I want to know 100% that God has them and they are fed, clothed, loved and cared for.
Like I’m fine if God is closing this this chapter in my life but geeze…… Not today emotions. Those need to stay tucked away until I have the proper time to deal with them.